What is the secret to gaining lasting inner security?
The secret is to create a container inside yourself that always provides you with a safe haven. What is an inner container? This can be imagined as a womb or a cauldron that you carry deep within your belly. Personally, I like to imagine a big strong cauldron inside me that can hold any experience I am going through.
Then, when I get triggered into insecurity, instead of feeling overwhelmed and checking out of the present, I can stay present with my feelings, place them in my cauldron and get on with my life. When you don’t have a container inside then you can get overwhelmed when lots of feelings come up. When overwhelmed, you either push the feelings away, numb yourself, blame others or don’t feel them at all.
Building your inner container can take some practice and it is SO worth it to feel safe, secure and grounded as much as possible. Life is a lot more fun and exciting when you are not checking out or feeling overwhelmed!
Building your inner container helps you develop a sense of profound safety and security and enables you to contain whatever stormy experiences or emotions broadside you from time to time.
Here’s what you can do to strengthen your sense of internal containment so that you feel good being in your own skin…..
Our first language during infancy is touch. In order for the body and psyche to integrate and feel at home together, we need to be held, touched and contained. Physical loving and holding translate in the growing psyche as containment for all the emotions of life – especially anxiety, fear, confusion and chaos. Notice that the container does not resist as a way of protecting you against these “negative” feelings and emotions. It contains them until you attend to them before they overwhelm you and take you over.
Building a container inside creates a holding space where you can process emotions such as anxiety, rage, confusion and frustration and where you can consciously hold your gifts and talents. With healthy containment, the body feels like a home, the place you want to be. A safe inner container makes you feel contained, embodied, rooted and grounded.
An inner container also helps you to remember things. For example, during a conversation, if a friend tells you very intimate and important things about what they are struggling with, your good container can retain the information and profoundly hold what they say. You can then reflect on it, maybe you dream about it, chew it over and then call back your friend and ask, “How are you doing?” This is how you can hold another person in your cauldron. Imagine if you could do this for your own needs, worries and feelings. Your inner container would be holding you in a transformative way.