Have you ever experienced being wrapped in a blanket of belonging? If so, you know the kind of emotional comfort this provides you. In order to build our self-esteem, we all need the warmth of human contact and a soothing sense of togetherness.
Emotional belonging brings tremendous reassurance, and when a child senses deep in his bones that he is wanted and that a special place has been prepared for him in the tribe, the child’s psyche is stabilized in a profound way.
With this kind of belonging you can feel confidence and security because you can locate yourself somewhere in life as part of this group or that clan or this village. When this happens, the part of you that longs to be a part of the human family can relax.
If you do not stabilize this way in your family of origin, including your extended family, the longing to belong propels you to search and search until you find a community that provides a sense of comfort and home. You can spend tremendous amounts of time and emotional energy trying to find a community atmosphere where you feel held and rocked in the safe arms of a group. Every child longs to belong in a family. This helps to explain the appeal of cults: they exert a tremendous pull on the tender psyche of a person longing for a place to fit in.
A positive experience in community also provides you with feelings of acceptance within the group. In a group, you can be acknowledged for the unique contribution only you can bring to the overall functioning of the community. You can be seen and appreciated for the particular part you play. This means that you will be encouraged to develop the talents and gifts that enhance the group. When a child finds her place and understands that she can make a difference in her human family, it forms the backbone of future self-confidence and feelings of potency in life.
The other crucial role that the community plays in the life of the growing soul is the establishment of self-esteem. Your first sources of self-esteem are your family of origin, extended family and early community. In community, you begin to get a sense of where you fit, what you can contribute, what roles you play well and what kind of power you have in the world. This emotional umbilical cord has a two-way nourishing system. When you contribute to the communal group, the group then mirrors back how valuable a resource you are.
Do you have a nourishing Community? We encourage you to find a great community to support you in your life journey.
Please consider joining our ongoing Spiritual community that meets virtually together our companions on the path. Check it out here, our Accelerate Spiritual Mentoring Group